|How to be 32 weeks pregnant in only 1 week
||[May. 28th, 2010|05:37 pm]
Keri (like the lotion)
Last week I found out I was 32 weeks pregnant. |
It was a giant and crazy surprise. It still is. Every single time I think I might have my head slightly wrapped around it, I suddenly realize I do not.
You may be asking yourself how someone can be 32 weeks pregnant and have no idea. It's a fair question, I don't blame you, but for that I'll need to go into some details, so if you don't mind details, do read on, or not, I promise my feelings will not be hurt.
In April of 2009 I had a Merina IUD installed. Touting over 99% effectiveness on their own website, and having read that a mere 1 in 50,000 women can get pregnant while using it, I figured it was a pretty good alternative to shots, or pills I'd have to remember to take.
Merina contains progestin, a very low dose released over the 5 years the product is intended for. If you have the device installed you can expect your periods to become lighter over time, and even disappear all together.
Miracle of miracles this is what happened to me, praise whomever you praise, lighter periods followed by no periods by the end of 2009, way to go progestin! Yeah!
I had a really bad cough from November through most of December. Violent spells of nasty hacking, and many so hard I nearly gaged, and one morning I did cough until I threw up my orange juice. It finally went away but left behind what was a weird but welcome appetite change.
Please note this is where I really start to miss, ignore, or just skip any signs of being pregnant, and go with "but I've got an IUD" and move on. It's also where I start to feel pretty stupid but I'm working on forgiving myself for that.
So I started eating less, mostly just less, there were some things that sounded truly awful to try to eat, such as chili, I couldn't really even think about chili without feeling urpy. Sad since I love chili, and most every thing that Erik cooks really, and at this time there were some things that I just turn away from. I had many yogurt and fruit dinners. Sometimes just the vegetables and a few bites of meat, but still why would this make me think I was pregnant?
I notice some of my pants seemed bigger, but really that didn't sink in until I put my motorcycle clothing on and I could actually button the top button of my pants, AND still get on the bike without feeling cut in half.
So my appetite is different but not gone, I eat less, I've lost weight, so what if I'm a little moody? Aren't I always? So what if watching an episode of Criminal Minds had me in an uncontrolled cry-fest where I clung to Erik and sobbed for 30 minutes? Why would that mean I'm pregnant? Piffle, I've got an IUD.
The appetite change is weird, good christ do my boobs hurt this month, but hey I'm on a hormone, I'm turning 35, who am I to judge? Piffle, I've got an IUD.
Still eating less than I used to, but plenty to feel comfortable and healthy. Man...what the hell is going on with my guts? Grumbly and churny, achey and gassy. Really my gut just sounded like Erik's sounds every day. Pregnant? No, he's a dude. Me? Piffle, I've got an IUD.
My guts are on and off retarded. I've got the weirdest weight-loss pattern in the world. My pants all fall off (I start to wish I didn't hate belts) but there's still lots of gut under my boobs. hmm.... seriously what the hell is up with my gut?
Wednesday, May 19
I'm uncomfortable all day. I can't sit for very long, and man is this some bad gas, but why won't it pass? I call Erik "are your guts ok? what did we eat?" He was fine, I started to think I had a serious digestive issue, or the mother of all tape worms or.....what if I'm pregnant? I worry about this, but can't decide if I'm being a crazy paranoid person. I kept it to myself.
Thursday, May 20
Nope, still kinda freaking out. Erik comes by the shop on his way to do errands. I confess to him that I'm probably being a crazy paranoid person, but think maybe I should take a pregnancy test. We discuss it. We decide that it's likely I'm being a crazy paranoid person but Erik mentions that I'm due for an annual exam, maybe I should discuss it with the fine folks at Planned Parenthood where I had the IUD put in. It seemed reasonable so I made an appointment, and they had an opening the following morning.
Friday, May 21
Erik, because he's awesome comes to my appointment with me, waits patiently while I go back for my exam.
I get on the scale on my way in the exam room, I'm 27 pounds lighter than the day they put the IUD in. Sweet.
Planned Parenthood Lady: Do you need to use the bathroom?
Me: Um, do I need to give you a urine sample today?
Planned Parenthood Lady: Only if you want a pregnancy test.
We had a short conversation about my fears, which ends with her saying "if it was me I'd take one, just to know that I wasn't" which was about the page I was on, 5 minutes usually seems worth your piece of mind.
She came back in the room saying "well it looks like you were right to be concerned" as she reached for the box of tissues for me. I started to cry and asked her to please get Erik from the waiting room. He's not an idiot, he knew what was up before getting into the room, but I told him anyway, as if my face wasn't telling enough, should he have had any doubts.
I had them continue with my pelvic exam, and the nurse said she thought we should do an ultrasound. Things were big, big, very big.
I'm laying there on the ultrasound table, the screen is out of my view. Erik held my hand and watched them try to get a size on the baby's head. There were 2 of them in the room to start, they called in 3rd as they tried to get an accurate measurement.
Erik told me later he saw a profile and a arm.
There was lots of hemming and hawing and trying to get it just right.
As I stared at the sealing I belted out "JESUS CHRIST! I'm one of those fat women that has no idea she's pregnant!"
Erik chuckled, and the woman doing the ultrasound choked back a laugh. She instead comforted me.
I was hesitantly told, based on the measurement of the head that I was 32 weeks pregnant, there was a disclaimer offered that their machine was not the most accurate.
I spent the rest of the afternoon calling my family and friends, and mostly in shock, Erik made a ton of calls looking for prenatal care. Did I mention he's awesome?
So here we are. It's now a week later, I'm 32 weeks pregnant, I've seen a doctor I like, who backed up the 32 week estimate with his trusty tape measure.
We heard the baby's heartbeat and some tiny little hiccups.
I've had an ultrasound, a very thorough one, and everything measured out at 32 weeks.
Really I feel pretty clueless, but with the false sense of security provided by one of the MOST EFFECTIVE BIRTH CONTROLS AVAILABLE, and expecting some of my body chemistry to change at 35, it was pretty easy to miss.
Until she started kicking me.
There are some things we can't ignore or turn into something else (er...for very long), and I've found another human being kicking me, especially from inside me, is near impossible to ignore (for very long).